Comfortably Grounded
I’ve been feeling adrift and floaty lately—restless in a world that feels painfully loud. After a hectic summer and fall, I’ve been buzzing from task to task like a bee, running in circles that always bring me back to the same starting point.
Like the bees my beekeeper husband Rich cares for, it’s time for even the bees to hunker down and hibernate. Rich makes sure they have enough honey in the hive to sustain them through winter and adds thick “cozies” around the hive for extra insulation. This helps the bees prepare to hang deep inside the hive, taking turns hovering close to the queen to keep both the hive and the queen warm.
As my recent wintering post indicates – winter is here now, and I feel the need to rest, refresh, and refocus.
“Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” - Khalil Gibran
A big part of this is finding my way to a more grounded place. To become settled.
I’m finding this more difficult than usual. I feel restless, fidgety, and quite antsy. It’s like I accidentally made myself a big mug of caffeinated tea before bed, only to realize my mistake when I try to sleep and can’t seem to stop my body—and mind—from moving...
Beneath the urge to move lies a deep desire to simply be. To sit and be present with whatever is there – without feeling the need to do anything about it. To connect within. To be fully present.
Darn, this is hard!
So, what does “grounded” even look like?
When I imagine being grounded, I see someone who is the opposite of overwhelmed, anxious, and insecure. I see someone who is not easily distracted.
I see myself (and others) as confident and at ease with whatever is happening. They are honest and authentic in their imperfect humanness. They recognize – and can touch their feelings while remaining secure and oriented. They are solid and stable, even with the chaos of life swirling around them.
They are in the quiet center – the eye of the storm.
I long to be anchored in the secure stability of being grounded.
On paper, or in theory, being grounded should be simple and not complicated or strenuous to achieve.
It means letting go of “trying” and settling into the richness of the present moment. It involves being in a more “natural” state of presence without needing to be anything other than who we are.
However, in our culture of high expectations and the constant noise of social media feeds showing us perfection in everything—from how we look, our homes, our jobs, our meals, to our relationships—it is difficult to avoid the trap of who we “should” be or the temptation of trying to live up to these completely unrealistic standards.
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” — Epictetus
If we can briefly disconnect from outside pressures and turn inward, we can discover a peaceful space—one that makes us feel more expansive. Interestingly, when I find this place of expansiveness, I see a center within it, my center. It is here that I experience a cozy sense of “home”… and I can more easily access my inner truth. A truth that won’t let me bend to others’ expectations. A truth that helps me resist the temptation to just do for the sake of doing. A truth that feels… well… comforting.
You don’t need to sit still and meditate for hours to find your grounded place. Your grounded place is already inside you. You just have to allow yourself to rediscover it, to uncover it for a moment, and to connect with it.
What gives you a sense of comfort? That could be a path to your grounding place. For me, it might be holding a mug of warm tea or strong, freshly brewed coffee, breathing in its aroma while watching yet another sunrise. Or taking a walk along a familiar trail, letting my feet and mind wander naturally.
For you, it might be:
Getting lost in a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle, a crossword, or a game of your choice.
Listening to music that allows your mind to wander.
Sitting in a comfy chair, getting lost in a good book.
Wearing your PJs for most of the day!
What might be on your comfort list?
Take some time to begin with a few simple things from your list and let me know if you feel more grounded... calmer... more like yourself.
I could so identify with this. I think just the acknowledgement that we’re caught in a whirlwind and loud world but we don’t have to let it drown us gave me some peace. It’s okay to “just be” sometimes - with no purpose to the moment. I’m ready for that.
I also have been wishing to feel more grounded, but the truth is that this season amps up the angst. Christmas is not my holiday, so all the energy around it is always distracting, which creates FOMO feelings. If I want a Chanukah party, I have to make one. Our usual family gathering is not happening this year (surgery for the host too close to Christmas for company to join them), so if I don't want the days to feel empty (more FOMO), I have to make plans. That takes research and being on top of things so tickets and reservations are not sold out.
That said, I usually find January more grounding. The holiday energy is behind us and I find it easier to settle down.
What gives me comfort? A clean and orderly house which lets me feel expansive. That's what gives me space for my mind to wander and ultimately to write.